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101 Reasons to Leave New York is a quirky pop culture book that recognizes and articulates the unthinkable notion of willingly leaving the greatest city on the face of the planet. Then, provides all the funny, insightful, sad and silly reasons you’ll ever
章節
- Dedication
- 1. The best part about living here is telling people who don’t that you do.
- 2. You can’t enjoy movies set in New York.
- 3. Someone else does your laundry and you’re not rich.
- 4. You’ve kind of forgotten how to drive.
- 5. You’re afraid of the J and Z trains.
- 6. People don’t cover their mouths when they sneeze.
- 7. Subway breezes.
- 8. You need more space, mental or otherwise.
- 9. You can’t live in Central Park.
- 10. HGTV.
- 11. It feels as if the buildings are leaning in on you.
- 12. You want to test the “You can make it anywhere “part of the song.
- 13.The crappy little parks have actually begun to feel like nice little parks.
- 14. You’d like to stand still without feeling as though you’re being passed by.
- 15. Tomorrow ain’t looking any better.
- 16. You’re no longer satisfied with never being satisfied.
- 17. You’ve had all you can stand and you can’t stand no more.
- 18. The cost of doing business.
- 19. You wake up sad.
- 20. Your area of expertise hasn’t made you rich.
- 21. Just making it isn’t good enough, anymore.
- 22. You can’t find your scene.
- 23. You just can’t catch a break.
- 24. Goldilocks thinks you’re hard to please.
- 25. Your MP3 player is too bulky.
- 26. You’re easily upset by subpar crème brûlée or French onion soup.
- 27. Everything takes too long.
- 28. You promised yourself you’d never stay in an abusive relationship.
- 29. Freelancing is overrated.
- 30. Dating is such a chore.
- 31. Sincerity has become an afterthought at best.
- 32. You’d like your significant other to remain significant.
- 33. You support everyone else’s decision to leave.
- 34. Insurance doesn’t cover therapy.
- 35. Some of the insanity is just insane.
- 36. The subway stops because of rain.
- 37. You’re thinking about going back to a job you quit.
- 38. Other people’s conversations.
- 39. Play is work.
- 40. Gentrification seems natural.
- 41. Panhandlers have to earn it.
- 42. Ambivalence, apathy, or whatever.
- 43. Encores.
- 44. You’ve been spending far too much time in your apartment.
- 45. You’re moderate.
- 46. The mind is willing, but the body isn’t able.
- 47. You’re a good person, but you’d like to be better.
- 48. You can’t stop cursing.
- 49. You have no desire to “Save the Children” and you want to fight “Greenpeace”.
- 50. You and your god don’t speak often enough.
- 51. You’ve become a little more racist.
- 52. Tick-tock. Tick-tock.
- 53. Everything used to be something else.
- 54. Your trainer, your favorite DJ, and your therapist have all abandoned you.
- 55. You’ve lost your hookup.
- 56. You get waaay too excited by trips to Fairway.
- 57. Sometimes you feel as though you’re living on an island.
- 58. You never see your friends anyway.
- 59. You’d like to see your family more.
- 60. Eye contact.
- 61. Re-introductions are so awkward.
- 62. Nothing surprises you, good or bad—and that’s bad.
- 63. Naked homeless people no longer scare you.
- 64. Seriously, though, nothing surprises you.
- 65. You continuously say how much you hate people and you’re not kidding.
- 66 . You despise tourists.
- 67. Everyone has started to look a little odd.
- 68. You’re so judgmental you’ve begun to look down on yourself.
- 69. The smart people aren’t really people-people.
- 70. That person over there won’t stop staring at you.
- 71. You honk the moment before the light turns green.
- 72. If you wanted to be phony, you’d live in L.A.
- 73. You’ve realized Brooklyn is just as pretentious as Manhattan.
- 74. Trying to look busy is exhausting work.
- 75. (Unwritten) Rules, (Unwritten) Rules, (Unwritten) Rules.
- 76. People don’t dance; at least, not like they used to.
- 77. You’re thinking about the future. Not just your future, but “the” future.
- 78. Your worth means more than your wealth.
- 79. You have kids now.
- 80. You’re not screwed up enough to be here anymore.
- 81. Less has become more.
- 82. Homesickness.
- 83. “The Secret”, “The Dream Giver”, and “A New Earth” have done nothing for you.
- 84. You’re all grown up.
- 85. You have an exit strategy.
- 86. A complete lack of inspiration.
- 87. You’re plain and you’re fine with it.
- 88. No love.
- 89. You watch reruns
- 90. It’s about damn time.
- 91. You pass time by counting pay periods.
- 92. New York has become too New York, even for New York.
- 93. Outside dining.
- 94. Re-entry.
- 95. You’re making more money than you ever thought you would and it’s still not enough.
- 96. Smoking is making a comeback.
- 97. You’ve gone from fringe to mainstream.
- 98. You have something solid elsewhere.
- 99. You’re just not loud enough.
- 100. There’s no one to blame.
- 101. You bought this book.
